If you want to destroy my sweater,
whoa o o o
pull this thread as I walk away,
as I walk away,
Watch me unravel
I'll soon be naked,
Lyin on the floor,
Lyin' on the floor,
I've come undone.
This is the song that represents my life since last Friday. Sure it happens as soon as I write that life is going great...Analia has totally hit the terrible-horrible-monstrous twos!! I can't believe she used to be my sweet little girl. Seriously it was overnight. On saturday she just went nuts...biting, scratching, and stomping on Maya, screaming not to go to bed, she was up for 2 hours in the middle of the night crying that she wanted to sleep with me in the big bed. NO WAY. We had to keep up the fight, but eventually I just laid down with her in our guest bed until she fell asleep. She whines and cries all the time and nothing we say or do seems to help. She's stubborn and doesn't forget the thing she's crying for. UGH. I am definitely at the end of my rope.
Any suggestions from you experienced moms?? I need some help here!
11 comments:
Hey, you don't really know me, I graduated from LHS a few years after you (Chelsea Baird's sister). I ran across your blog and just wanted to say I feel for you. We are in the same boat. My 2 yr old disappeared over night and was replaced with a meany! Just wanted you to know you're not alone!
Sorry Nellie! No great advice from me. I'm just counting the days until Gavin hits that stage.
Good luck! I hope she returns to her old self soon!
I remember my little niece did this exact same thing when her younger sister twins were born. I think it was the shock that her mother all of a sudden couldn't give her ALL the attention she had previously received. It was something different my niece had never experienced before. It was an adjustment stage, and once she adapted things became much more friendly.
Hey Nellie!
I am SO GLAD you posted this post! haha... I feel you girl! Some days are absolutely worse than others. Just know that there are others who are trying to figure their toddlers out as well. Claira always acts out more when there is a major change in her schedule or when Russ comes home after a TDY. While he's gone she's fine, but when he get's home, there is definitely a change. Maybe Analia is just adjusting to being back home after a long trip and constantly on the go. Maybe deep down she really missed Mike and didn't understand why he wasn't around all the sudden and she's dealing with feelings she doesn't understand now that things are sort of back to normal. Does that make sense? It will pass. One thing that works for me, whenever possible, is changing the focus when Claira acts out. For instance, if she is freaking out about not wanting to be buckled in her carseat, I start asking her questions like, "Are we going to the park today?" or "Did you sing with Alyssa this morning, what songs did you sing?" Things that she can think about and reflect on, it really works! She stops arching her back and stops screaming long enough for me to get her buckled in and entertain her with a toy or a book. Anyway, you might also ask Mike to do a couple of special things with her like reading a book or going on a walk. Just Daddy/daughter time. We should shoot some ideas off each other! Sometimes I don't know what to do with Claira either, like when she thinks that she can tell me what to do and proceeds to try and put me in a time out when I do something she doesn't like! haha.. I try and tell her it doesn't work that way, but she won't give up and ends up crying and freaking out when I don't do it. ugh!
Good luck!
Hey! I totally understand! Tyler has been the same way. He got SO MEAN in May. I seriously went to bed crying one night because he was so mean and I didn't know what to do, and then I started having all this anxiety and guilt that I was a horrible mother. I talked to my doctor about it and he recommended a book. I went home and researched it and decided that I didn't like the underlying philosophy. (It really disregarded the child's feelings and was very punishment-driven.)
It was so bad I even talked to the Sp. Ed preschool teacher at our school about it! I was desperate for help. She told me that he was smart and frustrated because he knows exactly what he wants and he can't tell me what it is. She also told me I needed to find something to replace the behavior, like a ball he could squeeze when he was mad, or something. I started thinking about what Tyler's problems were, what set him off (sometimes everything!) and such. I tried harder to talk to him about what he wanted, "Do you want a book? No, you want a drink. I can get you a drink" instead of just becoming frustrated myself and walking away until he was finished. (I still do that all the time, by the way!)
I decided I could only try to fix one thing at a time, so I chose his hitting. He would hit us so hard when we didn't do what he thought we should do. I started putting him in time out the first time he hit intentionally. I just picked him up and put him in his room for maybe one minute. He screamed the whole time and hit the door yelling "Mama!" After a moment, I open the door and hug him and tell him that we don't hit, that it hurts and that we need soft hands. I would take his hands and rub my cheeks and his cheeks (replacement behavior). I felt like the meanest mom in the world, but he stopped hitting within a few days of starting this. If he starts hitting again, even now, I can say, "Tyler, soft hands" and most of the time he'll either rub his face or come rub mine. The good news is that I had a terrible monster child for about 3 weeks, and then he really calmed down. He still throws tantrums and hits every so often, but it has helped so much. GOOD LUCK!
Uhhhh... if you find the answer, write a book and make a few million! I've been having the same issues with BOTH my kids. It's funny because, just like you, I have found that one day I will be thinking, "Wow. I have the BEST kids. They behave so well and are so sweet! I must be doing something right!" And then the next day I am humbled by the fact that it can be TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL!!!
Anyway, the only thing I have found that works is 100% consistency on my part. If I do timeout for something one day and not the next, it causes headaches for all of us.
Good luck! Sorry you're having a hard time. Know that we have ALL been there!!
Oh, and:
I heart Weezer.
Hey Nellie,
You've met Ainsley right? She's a slightly crazy child sometimes. I second your friends that say you just have to be consistent with what you pick, time out or whatever. I have a friend who puts tabasco on her kids tongue when they bite or talk nasty. I imagine that's got to be pretty effective. If Ainsley bites me I flip her in the mouth because it's an immediate response. She's not a fan of that and doesn't bite very often. She kisses my shoulder and says all better after she bites me. I think they are just trying to figure out their feelings. I definately think you have to pick something, a time out or carry out whatever threat you give in order to be effective. Hopefully it will be a short lived phase! We miss you guys!
Love,
Sarah
So, it turns out that Analia is just like every other child! It is definitely her turn to act out...since she hasn't ever before!...EVER! Are you getting ready to move?
I was seriously laughing out loud as I read your blog to JD. All of us who have had kids can empathize. Honestly, the more kids I have I realize how short this phase really is. I know it feels like an eternity right now, but before you know it she'll be getting baptized. Here's what I've found works for me: 1. Try to be consistent in my disipline, my kids know if they act out there will be a consequense. 2. Change the subject, I'll try to get them to focus on something totally different than what's going on at the moment. 3. Take away what means the most to them, this may work better as she gets older, but if I resrict their bikes, time spent with friends, the WII, whatever their favorite thing is that week, they change their behavior much faster than time-outs alone. Good luck Nellie! It can be short lived, if it wasn't, why would I be considering having a fifth one???
So I know you posted this forever ago, but Maddy is, how should I say, the devil? My sister gave me this book, 1-2-3 Magic, and I didn't read it forever. Then one day I picked it up and it is really helping. The good thing is, it isn't ridiculously long or tedious to read. It is pretty good. It doesn't allow you to spank, yell, or argue with the kids. It is basically counting to three but with a twist...you should check it out.
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